Audiobooks and Almond Joys

Things you could do in an hour and a half-

Sit through an entire class at Hockaday, including a ten minute passing period

Watch a movie (not Avatar, but who really wants to do that anyways?)

Watch an episode and a half of Gossip Girl

or three episodes of Modern Family

Move a couple blocks in LA traffic

Make 6 Rachel Ray's 15 Minute Meals

Watch a bajillion Youtube videos

The possibilities are endless...

I chose* to run 9 miles

*I also chose to do most of my homework in high school, chose to is not synonymous with wanted to, just sayin'

Anyways, I woke up in a panic. You know how there are certain ages that sound old? 12 doesn't sound old, but 13 does. 20 doesn't sound old, but 21 does. 22 doesn't sound old, but 23 does. 26 doesn't sound old, but 27 does. You get the idea. Well, it's the same with mileage. 8 miles doesn't sound too bad, but 9 miles sounds like an eternity of hellish agony.

Today, I ran 9 miles.

Goals:

1. To finish

2. To not let Kristen pass me (Yes, last time it was to not lose sight of Kristen, but I had to be realistic- I was going to lose sight of her. We run this three mile loop around the neighborhood and I was honestly surprised she didn't pass me.)

Embarrassing story- when I was little, I listened to these stories on cassette tapes (Adventures in Odyssey). Like, obsessively. I would fall asleep listening to them, play them while I was getting ready for school, play them while I was doing my homework, play them in the car- I think I can still quote a good portion of them and I had a million of these tapes. Well, when I was little I would put one in my tape player and run around the yard listening to it. So this morning, when I was anxiously contemplating how I was going to make it through 9 miles, I thought of Connie, Eugene, Mr. Whittiker (Characters from Adventures in Odyssey) and came up with this awesome idea- I would download an audiobook and listen to it during the run. I would be so engrossed in the story, I wouldn't even notice my body breaking apart. I didn't take into consideration that running around my yard until I got tired and sat in the grass wasn't quite the same as running 9 miles. Although I loved Adventures in Odyssey when I was seven, I felt I should branch out, so I downloaded I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell. I read some reviews on Itunes and the female audience seemed to be disgusted, while the male audience seemed to revere the author and his, ahem, escapades. I made it through his adventures in Vegas and at the University of Tennessee, but eventually grew tired of his drunken rampages and turned on my tunes around mile 4.

The second three-mile-loop was a tough one, I think my jog could be better described as a hobble. I literally tripped over a huge stick in my path at one point and was surprised I didn't collapse onto the ground. There is a point in the loop where you run across a somewhat busy intersection. I know it's horrible, but as I ran across it I thought- If a car hits me, at least I can stop running. Yeah, it was lookin' pretty bleak. But finally, I finished. And, Kristen did not pass me. Or, if she did, I didn't see her- then again, I didn't see the huge branch in the middle of the road either.

Through all the trying times, one thing in particular kept me hobbling along- Halloween candy. Almond Joys, to be exact. Bring on the chocolate I will steal from my nieces' trick-or-treat bags while they sleep :]

Happy Halloween!

THE MUDDY BUDDY

was excellent, which made up for the fact that I

had to wake up at 6 in the morning, drink the nastiest protein shake ever, and drive to the middle of nowhere by 8.

A while ago (before I started training for the half- when walking from the couch to the fridge seemed like a feat), Kristen asked if I wanted to do a race with an obstacle course and a mud pit and a little running and biking.

Mud? Obstacle course? Hell yeah.

Running? Biking? Mmm yeah okay.

A while later (just after I started training- when walking from the couch to the fridge still seemed like a feat because of my newly acquired blisters), Kristen asked me what our team name should be. After much thought, I threw out "The Muddles." Like Harry Potter? Muggles?? Get it?? So, Kristen signed us up. Team name: The Muddles.

Kristen said we should dress up like Hermione (Harry Potter character, A muggle) since everyone dresses up for the Muddy Buddy (Mmm yeah, not so much.) We purchased stripper Hermione costumes from the Halloween store. THEN Kristen thought of attaching a broom to the bike we'd be using. THEN Kristen thought of attaching witch hats to our bike helmets. We were stoked about our killer costumes, until we arrived at the race...

We were sitting in the car as people in workout clothes walked past and Kristen goes, "Who wants to get out of the car first?"

We found others in costume and stuck with our people until lining up for the race. The weather was awesome and the area was beautiful, but there were hills. Many, many hills.

The entire race was 6.2 miles split into 5 parts. One buddy runs while the other bikes and you switch off at the beginning of each new part. You know it's time to switch when you hit an obstacle. The obstacles included crawling under a net, climbing a rock wall, walking across balance beams, sliding down a blow up slide, and crawling through a mud pit. Since I had not ridden a bike since a terrifying experience in PE class freshmen year, Kristen rode the first, third, and fifth part, that way I only had to ride two sections.

Here's a bird's eye view of the course. Kristen and I are the black dots (our witch hats). The music was a must.

The trash cans disappearing and reappearing- that's a magic, harry potter-esque touch, definitely not a continuity error that I was too lazy to fix.

The obstacles were mostly fun, but I had some issues with crawling under the net-

The biking sections were soo scary. I have a new found respect for Lance Armstrong. I was trying to figure out how to work the gears and every time I went to break the bike would start screeching, and everyone around me was like "oo that doesn't sound good." YEAH I KNOW IT DOESN'T SOUND GOOD, I'M ALREADY FREAKING OUT ABOUT IT. Going up hills was hard, but I hated going downhill because I was sure I would hit a rock and fly over the handle bars, or a tire would burst or the breaks would go out or my cape would get stuck in one of the wheels and I would die by strangulation (I kept thinking of Edna Mode in "The Incredibles" when she says "No Capes" and then you see a montage of deaths by capes)

You think a race called The Muddy Buddy would be easy, but the hills and the biking were pretty freaking tough. The final obstacle was worth the 6.2 miles though.

The mud pit was huge and freezing and AWESOME!

Kristen didn't find it quite so enticing.

We clocked in at 104 Minutes 55 Seconds

In our age group, we got 16th out of 39.

And, out of around 1,000 teams- we came in at 256.

Not bad, not bad.

Dirty school girls as promised!

I loved doing the Muddy Buddy, but one of the best parts of the race was-

getting THE RACE TEE-SHIRT.

Love it. Love it.

Confession: Missed my run today. I tried to psyche myself up all day and after eating a huge bowl of chili for dinner, accepted the fact that I would not be running 4 miles. I'm going to run tomorrow instead. Promise. Will do a post on it.

later skaters

Sawy.

I may have gotten a little too ambitious when it comes to an animation I'm doing for the race post (think moving pointillism. Now think of it not working out). I will try to post it by tomorrow night. I'm sure the epic-ness of my race post will be worth the wait- think animations! drawings! Pictures of dirty school girls!! You think I'm kidding...

Workout Completed. Distance, 8 miles.

Friday Morning. 11-ish o'clock.

I put on my running attire (blue ear warmer headband thingy, striped fingerless gloves, bright yellow shirt (which looks awesome on a pasty white girl), and hot pink pants), busted out of the hotel and hit the streets. I think my mom is stuck in the 80s, unless the drug dealers take the weekend off to spend time with their families.

I ran on the streets for a half mile or so, past restaurants and laundry mats and psychic places and NYU students. Eventually, I hit a running path along the water near the West Side Highway.

I didn't take this picture (thanks Google images), but this is where I was running and it looked the same. It was beautiful. Blue sky. Blue water. Big bridge. There were people fishing, biking, and NYU guys playing soccer- obviously plenty of things to keep my mind completely occupied. Around mile 4 though, my mind got bored. The fishers were annoying, the bikers were annoying, the NYU soccer players were not annoying, but their practice ended. Yes, mile 4 was a tough one. After mile 4 and 5, I pushed through 6, 7, and 8 pretty easily. 8 Miles woot woot!

Side note- The last half mile I looked down to check my distance. My phone read 7.91 so I picked up the pace (wanted to finish strong ya know) and when I looked down, ohh 30 seconds later, it was still frozen on 7.91. Being the genius that I am, I started running faster. As you might have guessed, this didn't do anything. Although I knew I had run 8 miles, I needed the iphone voice to say in my ear- "Workout completed. Distance, 8 miles." I just could not handle listening to her say "Distance, 7.91 Miles." So after messing with the app for a couple minutes, I finally fixed the issue and finished my last .09. You don't know how gratifying it was to hear "Workout completed. Distance, 8 miles."

As promised- Debugging the bed footage

Got back to Dallas yesterday and...

RAN MY FIRST RACE THIS MORNING!

It deserves it's own post, but I must go watch "Teen Mom" so check the blog later tonight.

The Treadmill

Yo. Yesterday my mom and I flew to NY to meet up with my sister. On the plane ride out here I read part of Born to Run by Christopher McDougall. It is not a motivational self-help book for novice runners, although the title gives off that idea. It's this crazy account of this tribe in Mexico's Copper Canyons. They run hundreds of miles at a time. They play this "game" where they chase after a ball for hours or days, depending on what they feel like doing. Game? Really?? Anyways, it's really interesting and pretty quick if you're lookin' for a good book.

Today I needed to run 3 miles. Friday I need to run 8.

Here's what I thought- Oh, New York. Central Park. Neighborhood Parks. Cool things going on everywhere. Three miles, eight miles, those will be awesome runs for sure! I will probably get so caught up in the city around me that I'll be done in no time!!

Wrong. Wrong. wrong.

My mom informed me that I would not be running outside. "There are drug deals happening on every corner! Everyone is on drugs! You will definitely be attacked if you think about running anywhere near where we're staying." (After this discussion, she pulled out a huge heating wand she packed in her bag to kill any bed bugs in our hotel room... footage to come)

So I turned to my trusty friend, Wikipedia, which confirmed my assumption that the neighborhood is not in a state of anarchy or overrun by drug lords. Surprise.

But, to appease my mother, I went in search of the hotel gym this morning. It is located in the basement. I think it was one of those things where they wanted to put "exercise room" on their website, so they threw a treadmill in the basement.

I walked into the "exercise room" and was relieved to find the treadmill not in use, but once I got on it- I questioned whether it was actually able to be "in use." I went through my workout playlist at least twice, but my eyes kept flicking down to the panel and seeing the meager mileage I'd gone. I started telling myself- okay when the song ends, you can look down. But since I only had a brick wall to stare at, my eyes would automatically move towards the panel and I'd glimpse just how little progress I was making. It's kind of like a car wreck on the side of the road, you just can't look away.

When I run outside, if I stop at 2 miles, I've still got to run 2 miles to get back to where I started. On a treadmill, all I've got to do is tap the little red stop button and call it quits. Also, I have this fear that I'm going to trip (I tend to do that) and smack my head into the front of the treadmill and slid off the end of the treadmill into a bloody heap on the floor. So, the whole time I was fearing for my life! Not to mention, I was in this closet-like room, which no other guest probably cares to look at because most people I've seen riding the elevators are plaid wearing, fingerless glove donning hipsters who appear to have no desire to workout and probably aren't physically able to, due to the tightness of their skinny jeans (I'm not hating on skinny jeans (wearing them), plaid (wearing it), or fingerless gloves (bought a pair today)). But, the point is, my mangled limbs would never be found until the hipsters wanted a vintage treadmill for their newly purchased loft in Hoboken!

ANYWAYS, I eventually completed 3 miles and prayed I wouldn't run into one of the cute hotel employees as I headed back up to my room.

I'm not running 8 miles on that treadmill. I'd rather venture out into the depravity and run for dear life.

WHY!?

My whole body screams this at me every mile I run.

Normally I scream back- GOOD FREAKING QUESTION!

and then it says- So stop.

And I say- I can't.

And it asks me- Why?

And I ask myself- Why?

Sometimes reasons don't pop up instantly- when my bladder is bursting, my blisters are bleeding, or sweat, like hot salsa, converges on my cornea. Did you like the simile? I'm channeling my inner Ke$ha.

But, I do have reasons and here are some of the ones that get me through these harrowing moments.

Top 5 Reasons I Run

5. Because of the shirts the runners receive on race day. I will wear that baby everywhere. I will march into the apple store and find the genius who helped me with my nano and I will strike a pose that best displays the White Rock Half Marathon logo. And we will fall in love. And we will get married. And we will have little geni.

4. I'm obsessed with the feeling after finishing a run. Love me some endorphins. "Exercise gives you endorphins- endorphins make you happy and happy people just don't shoot their husbands... they just don't." Love me some Legally Blonde too. I guess running may keep me from committing criminal activities- bonus reason!

3. I can now walk into Luke's Locker without feeling like my forehead's tattooed with "I only run when forced to in P.E!" I use to cower in the corners and hide amongst the sales racks in an attempt to go unnoticed by the over-eager employees. But now, I walk in with my head held high and browse through the running section with the ease of a seasoned athlete.

2. Because sometimes running is amazing. I love the solitude. I love being in nature. I love the feeling after you've reached the top of a hill and begin the descent down the other side. I love the connection with other runners on the street who nod or wave in a I-need-to-go-to-the-bathroom-too kind of way or a I-know-there's-a-reason-we're-doing-this kind of way.

1. For my friends at Heart House. I love the kids. They are awesome and deserve an amazing place like Heart House. Normally each mile I have to remind myself- You have taken people's money. You must finish. You have taken people's money. You must finish. You can give the money back. No, YOU HAVE TAKEN PEOPLE'S MONEY! YOU MUST FINISH. DO IT FOR THE KIDS!!

I've got to wake up early and run 3 miles.

Body: Why?

Me: I HAVE TAKEN PEOPLE'S MONEY! I MUST FINISH!

Peace out,

$terling

Seven, siete, sept, seitsemän, sieben, سبعة, седем,

I'M ALIVE!

If you didn't pick up on it, the title is the word "seven" in seven different languages. That way, everyone in the world reading my blog will know that I completed seven miles. My left knee cap is barely hanging on and there's a bubble of puss on the arch of my right foot that is nearing eruption, but I'm still among the living.

I started off dreading the run and spent the first 2 miles wishing I was anywhere else- an opera, driver's Ed class, Yoga at the Y (well, that's debatable)- but I had to accept that for the next hour I was running... behind Kristen.

My goals for the run were to

1. Finish

2. Not lose sight of my little perky partner. At points she was just a little perky dot, but I never lost visual contact.

At mile 5 I was hurting pretty bad and in my suffering I decided I should pray. It went something like this-

Dear God,

Thank you for my legs. Thank you for this day. Thank you that I can do this. Amen.

I thought that maybe God would take pity on a pathetically grateful mess and give me wings or rain or something. After praying, I cranked up Ke$ha's "Your Love is My Drug" and pushed on. You may think my choice of song blasphemous, but I believe Ke$ha maybe referencing her, ahem, strong relationship with God. Observe...

"What you've got boy is hard to find

Think about it all the time

I'm all strung up my heart is fried

I just can't get you off my mind"

- She loves God, she thinks about him all the time, her heart is only for Him, she can't get Him off her mind

Because your love, your love, your love, is my drug

Your love, your love, your love, is my drug

Your love, your love, your love

- Ke$ha metaphorically demonstrates her addiction to God's love

"I don't care what people say

The rush is worth the price I pay

I get so high when you're with me

But crash and crave you when you are away"

- Ke$ha doesn't care that people are talking about her religious choices because God is worth it. She feels good when He's a part of her life, but when He's not (and perhaps the drugs aren't so metaphorical) she "crashes" and "craves" Him.

"Heyyy heyyy your love, your love, your love, your love, (whispered) is my drug

I like your beard."

- Ke$ha, again, recognizes that God's love is her "drug" and demonstrates how she prays by quietly whispering "is my drug." But, what really confirms this comparison is her acknowledgment of Jesus' beard.

Ke$ha on her way to bible study. Obviously.

Whether it was divine intervention

or the divine lyrics of Ke$ha,

I finished the last two miles

and have resumed my position of rest.

I have to run 7 miles tomorrow

SO, I had to compensate for that by doing absolutely nothing today. And, I achieved my goal. There were trying times, where I wanted to make my bed or take a shower, but I refrained, knowing that I must conserve all of my energy. To take my mind off these pressing issues, I caught up on Gossip Girl, watched the last three episodes of Grey's Anatomy, and ate Chipotle leftovers (tortilla, rice, black beans, carnitas, pico, lettuce, guac)

Question- Which do you like the best- Chipotle, Qdoba, or Free Bird's?

I like Free Bird's the best BECAUSE you can get a spinach tortilla and BBQ sauce

I like Chipotle the second best. Just cause.

Qdoba does have rockin' queso, but I don't like the texture of their tortilla as much. I joke, kind of... Seriously though- their tortilla is thinner and flakier and the innards of your burrito are more likely to spill out which would... suck. It would ruin the whole dining experience.

Oh, and if you order the bowl, don't bother commenting. I'm not interested in your opinion.

Hmm... back to running, racing, Heart House... let's see

So my awesome godfather* let me use his animation program and I've been messing with it for most of the afternoon. It's incredible. It took me 2.5 seconds to make a ball bounce across the screen... do you know how long that would've taken me with Paintbrush and iMovie? So hopefully there will be a nifty animation up soon.

This program lets you construct the skeleton of your characters. I will make the animated version of myself extremely flexible and live vicariously through her.

Anyways, I made this scene with a bouncing red monster and moving clouds and a tree...

Don't hate, I was following the tutorial.

I feel like I would over exert myself if I continued writing so I will end my post here.

*Watched the Godfather for the first time with my Godfather. Crazy funny, huh?

Someone in Canada is reading my blog.

That's kind of cool, eh?

Right now I'm watching the 21st Chilean miner come up from the mine (the one with the mistress and wife... dramaaa)

My diet coke addiction has gotten out of control. I started drinking with my cereal this morning... so I've decided I'm going to drink 3 a day for the next week and 2 the following week and then reassess. How moderate does that sound? Yeah, that's probably why it won't happen. Steps of an addiction- denial, acceptance, blah, blah... looks like I'm workin' the steps. The problem is there is normally a big ass speed bump between acceptance and doing something about it that I can just never really get over.

Okay, so, I ran 4 miles this morning and then went to a yoga class at the YMCA. Guess which one was harder?

Wrong, the yoga class. The run was bliss... in comparison. The average age was seventy (this calculation includes the woman teaching the class. I was, what you call, an outlier). You know the saying 'pride comes before a fall?' Mmm, yeah- it's true.

I walk into the class, still flushed from the run, with my Asics on and a running chip tied to my laces- which just screams hardcore athlete, and assess my competition peers. I quickly conclude I have this class in the bag.

So, there was the pride.

here comes the fall...

Starting with downward dog. My palms are sweating, I'm shaking, and I'm scared the muscles in my shins are going to pop out of the skin. I'm slipping off the mat and the teacher is telling me to "widen my hands and my stance and lift my hips and lengthen my neck and extend my back and push my shoulders down and align my hips and mmm does this not feel so good." She asks this not as a question, but as a statement- like this should feel so good. Grunts of agreement sound around the room, but I don't grunt because that would take too much effort and, unlike all my suck up peers, I do not agree. Throughout the class Blanche and Fay and Gertrude are applauded for their excellent warrior poses. I'm applauded for my... effort. Why don't you just say I suck? Supposedly, I have a tight back, neck, calves, hip-flexers, hamstrings, and shoulders- yes, thank you, I felt that.

My ankles are flexible though, woohoo.

Why did I put myself through this misery? Because I read an article about novice runners who underestimate the importance of stretching and end up hurting themselves...

I think I may take my chances on this one.

iRun

Dedicated to Steve Jobs.

More similarities...

Is he not the cutest kid?

Now, let's consider the transitive property...

If a = b -> Cute = My little buddy

AND

If b = c -> Me at age 6 =(looks like) My little buddy

THEN

a = c -> Me at age 6 = SO CUTE

I'm sure this binary relation (thanks, wikipedia) is probably a little too complex for the average person to comprehend, don't feel bad. Essentially, my six-year-old self, with slicked back hairdos and spiffy specs, was cute, okay?!

Anyways, I love this guy. He wants to be an ice cream maker and give ice cream to "everyone in the world." He found a fossil that he keeps in his cubby (it looks curiously like a rock that might be found on a playground). He wants a microscope to look at his fossil, bugs, and worms. His mom makes the best pancakes ever, and he has so sweetly invited me over to try them out.

Had a rest day today. Twas nice.

Running 3 miles tomorrow. But I eat short runs like that for breakfast!

I normally blame bad jokes on sleep deprivation... I'm tired.

Man I love college, ay! And I love running, ay!

I'm not in college right now, but I've come to realize that my training is pretty similar.

I had some more... inappropriate parallels that were vetoed by Kristen and I- keepin' the blog "family friendly," but I'm sure you can imagine what some of these scenarios may have been.

ALSO- The comic's hard to read, but if you double click on each

individual picture- it enlarges it. You may have already

figured this out...

Short Post

1. We are over halfway to the donation goal, which is incredibly awesome. I have to come up with a really good excuse to back out of this thingy now. But seriously, thank you so so so much for the donations and support!

2. I'm posting a comic tomorrow, which is why I felt I could get away with a short, uneventful post today.

3. I've been told the new blog design is boring, poor, unsatisfactory- your thoughts?

4. A conversation I had with a little boy at Heart House today-

Little boy: Where have you been!?

Me: I went to a family reunion this weekend

Little boy: I thought you said you were going to Africa? (Complete sincerity)

Me: Nope, South Carolina.

Little boy: Noo, you went to Africa!

Me: Noo, South Carolina.

Little boy: Are you surrre?

Yes buddy, I am, unfortunately, sure about this.

Meet Hayden.

Oh little brother, how I love you.

This video was taken after our family reunion weekend in SoCar- South Carolina (haa, I crack myself up) so he was clearly tired and actually loves running, and will be running the Turkey Trot with me, right Hayden?

I love Gaffney (population: the Phillips family), but I'm not sure if I could live there. The weekend involved...

Muscadines (pronounced scuppernogs by the local folk) which are addicting and give you the worst stomach ache if you eat too many. Believe me, this comes from personal experience. The problem is, it happens every family reunion because they are so good that I have to keep eating them. I'm trying to live a life of moderation, but the muscadines are just one example of problem areas. Others include, cereal at breakfast, lunch, and dinner and my ability to stay up all night watching True Life. Oh, and 7 to 8 Diet Cokes per day.

Kentucky Fried Chicken (We went to pick up the KFC and two guys had to wheel a dolly out to the car with the chicken because we (aka my sister, Ashleigh) ordered a billion buckets.

Lunch and breakfast at Cracker Barrel. When you go to Cracker Barrel you must rock in a rocking chair, play checkers, play the annoying table game over and over again and lose over and over again, eat a biscuit, and get a piece of lemon icebox pie. EXCEPT this time of year they do not serve lemon icebox pie. lame.

Gladiator. The movie. So good.

Family. I love my Phillips fam.

And

Running. Impressive huh? Yeah, I didn't think I was actually going to do it either. But, I did. Four miles at four in the morning in the frigid cold. Not really, but I like alliterations. Actually, it was four miles at 7:30 in the semi-frigid cold. But that just doesn't sound as good phonetically or literally.

I walked out of the hotel and turned left. In around 2 minutes I was running past pastures and cows (milking a cow is on my bucket list, but I didn't want to screw up my normal 6 min/mile pace so I kept going) and bales of hay and Laura Ingalls Wilder and little houses on the prairie. It was pretty cold when I started running, but I eventually got use to the cooler weather. What I did not get use to was the hills. It was hilly.

When I started off, this kind of sketchy guy (long black trench coat, black du-rag) was smoking a cigarette by the side of the road. At this point I was going down hill so I ran by somewhat quickly and repeated 'eyes and throat, eyes and throat' (self defense lingo) incase I was attacked from behind. Fortunately, "Love Story" by Taylor Swift was not interrupted and I continued on. Thirty or so minutes later, I'm running the other way past this same point and the trench coat du-rag guy is still there! I was kind of an anxious kid and can still make myself pretty distressed- watch this...

'Oh my gosh, he's still there! He for sure wants to attack me, but he was just waiting for me to come back because he wanted me to be more tired so I couldn't fight him off. He also probably has weapons hiding in his trench coat and has thought of a plan for when I came back this way. He has stopped smoking because he wants both hands free to grab me and drag me off. No matter how hard I scream no one will hear me because we are in the middle of nowhere. This is how all horror movies start, a happy, carefree, morning run during a family reunion in a small peaceful town. And horror movies are just like real life. I'm never going to see my family again! or my friends! or eat muscadines! or eat cereal! or drink diet coke! I will no longer live my life of failed moderation!!1!!1one!!1'

... So, I ran. Hard. Up hill. For my last half mile. And ended at the front of the hotel- sweaty and exhausted and panting, but alive. And, with a new fervor for life, I walked inside and ate the complimentary breakfast. yum.

The Genius Bar

Besides rock stars

and sexy fake football players

I have a total crush on these guys...

at the Apple Genius Bar.

Steve Jobs' little minions

My link to the man himself.

How cute are they, with their little faux hawks.

Anyways, I went into the Apple store today to purchase

a new ipod nano (because of... Columbus Day... in two weeks).

Don't worry, I used just a little of the donation money. Just Kidding.

I repeat, just kidding. Not funny. Too soon. Anyways...

the Genius who was helping me was also a runner (potential boyfriend? I thinkk soo. He was also seventy. And married. But those are just semantics in today's society, right?)

Genius: Can I help you ma'am?

Me: (Flirty giggle) Yeah, I was wondering if I could get a red Nano?

Genius: You sure can.

He whisked me over to a computer and deftly typed in his top-secret codes, all the while keeping a light-hearted, witty, dare I say, flirtatious conversation going.

Genius: So are you a runner?

Me: Yep

Genius: What races have you run?

awkward

Me: I haven't run any yet (hair flip), but I'm training for the White Rock Half.

Genius: Oh, that's a fun one. I use to run. Did White Rock a couple times.

Me: Wow. (lip purse)

Genius: So what's the farthest you've run?

awkward

Me: Just 4 miles so far.

Genius: You better get goin' girlie.

Yes, Genius. Thank you.

At this point, he asked for my email.

For checkout/promotional purposes, unfortunately.

And I left- with a new Nano the color of my broken heart.